Mom and Dad are having a good time. Monsoon season has started, but so far we've only had one really rainy day. They brought a Reader's Digest from Canada for me to read, which is where I found the GEOGRAPHY CHALLENGE at www.geographyzone.com You have 200 seconds to locate 10 countries selected at random. When you start the quiz, you also enter your home Country ~ for someone who's had a world map on their wall since University, I got a dismal score! I'm sad to say I've decreased Canada's score by 0.003% Sorry!

Hooray!!! Mom & Dad arrive in Korea tomorrow!!! I might not have time to write much while they are here. I hope they'll get along well with the cat....

Not much has been happening lately in my awake hours, but I've been keeping a 'dream journal' since February. Here are some exerpts:

March 5.
I was in prison ~ Martha Stewart style. However, I couldn't find my name on any of the team activity lists (which were written in English and Korean), so I always felt I was late for something, but I didn't know what.

March 6.
I ate a sea-cucumber, and it was gross. I tried to spit it out, but one little piece in the middle of my tongue kept growing back. I'd wipe it off, but it would grow back and keep wiggling.

April 3.
Toilet plungers and potted plants. That's what last nights dreams were made of.

April 12.
I was supposed to be getting married at a roadside diner/gas station. When we arrived to set up, the army had comandeered the area. Luckily, I had my own Stealth Helicopter, and while I distracted the soldiers with tours of the helicopter, my friends set up the wedding in the woods behind the diner.

May 22
Queen Elizabeth was getting married again (I don't know what happened to Prince Philip, but I seem to think he was invited to the wedding) and I was invited to the wedding too, because Prince Charles was my professor. I arrived a few days prior to the nuptuals and helped the groom make mincemeat, while my Mom and Dad helped the Queen roll candied fruit in marzipan.

What a day.

7:14am. I get a text-message from my student, wondering why I'm not at the office. I politely clarified for him that his make-up exam was supposed to be at 11:00am, NOT 7:00am.

9:00am. Still sleeping. I'm dreaming of a sweaty mechanic (don't ask, and no, it wasn't that type of dream). I wake up with my arm wrapped around my head, and realize it's me that needs a shower, not my dream.

11:00am. I meet my student for his make-up exam, and intend to go to the bank downstairs afterwards. My bankbook and wallet are both still at home. drat.

1:00pm - 3:00pm. I'm in class listening to my students speaking exams. The first 3 pairs came in with absolutely nothing prepared, and stared at me in silence until I told them to come back on Friday.

4:00pm. I'm cutting a piece of cheese, with my hand carefully placed on the back edge of the knife. My hand slips and I manage to stab myself in the thumb anyway. As I'm rinsing off the blood, the phone starts ringing, and stops as soon as I've grabbed a paper towel.

5:25pm. I didn't know the answer to Final Jeopardy

8:00pm - 10:00pm. Grading exams. Question: How many children do you want to have? Answer: Yes. I am will going swim yesterday. Did I teach them anything??

10:22pm. I think I have a sty in my eye.

I'm going to bed, and will try again tomorrow!

Today was Exam Day! All the freshman English students wrote their exams, which makes for a very long day for the teachers. (well, hour wise it's not that bad...but hour after hour of listening to the script, and then watching students write is quite dull).

Luckily, our friend Eva was the recipient of a surprise bridal shower this evening, which put a nice cap on the day.

I'm also including a link here for "Store Wars". If you haven't yet seen it, and you are either a Star Wars fan, or a responsible shopper, you should watch it. I laughed and laughed. Then I went about my day. Then I watched it again, and I laughed and laughed. Enjoy. http://www.storewars.org/flash/

WHEW!! I've finally finished my last essay for my Linguistics course. I'm free until September, and may even go outside tomorrow to remind myself what the sun looks like. I seem to recall a big warm ball in the sky...

I approached this essay differently than the essays that got me through University:

1) I actually read the articles I used as references. I didn't just grab a few quotes and build a paragraph around them.
2) I wrote this essay during daylight hours, and was not sleep deprived, nor had I replaced all my natural bodily fluids with Tim Horton's coffee.
3) I didn't just grab the closest theory and run with it, showing a complete disregard for my own opinions and those held by actually credible scholars.
4) "Spellcheck" was not synonymous with "proofreading".

Having made these changes, and in so doing deviated from my tried, tested & true essay methods which served me well in my undergrad days, I hope I pass!

I read in the news this morning that North Korea has developed a candy to help make it's kids grow up big and strong. It sounds like a great idea. Then, later on in the article I read "Unlike sugar-packed and chocolate-covered sweets, the North is hoping that children in the reclusive state will enjoy munching on their nutritional candy made of seaweed, beans, carrots and sesame seeds, the newspaper said." Ummm, maybe it's just me, but SEAWEED, BEANS, and CARROTS are not candy!!! I'm trying to imagine all the Twix lovin' kids back home throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store because they want some of that 'seaweed and carrot' candy.

Sometimes, my students worry my with their observations. I've never been one to wear a lot of makeup, and my eyeshadow is usually barely noticeable. I tried a new shade the other day, still barely visible. (kind of like my mom paints the house, then tells me "this white wall is green. this white wall is yellow, and this white wall is peach") Like I said, barely noticable. Anyway, I walked into my Education class yesterday and the first thing they said was "OH! Teacher! Eyeshadow! Colour Change!" Just like that. exclamation marks and all. They can't remember to use a verb in their sentences, but they notice I've changed my eyeshadow. They're a great class.

It's Festival time again here on campus, which is always lots of fun outside, but not so fun in class. All my students are either absent because of fatigue, and/or hangovers or else they're in class suffering from fatigue and/or hangovers. So I've dedicated this week to a review games day and a take-home assignment day. So far it seems to be working well.

Tracy and I went for a walk around campus after dinner to say 'hello' to our students and take in the festivities. In the process we wound up at the pottery sale table. Now, it's not enough that tomorrow we're taking a semesters worth of our own pottery to the kiln, and that in 2 weeks we'll have a house bursting with new wobbly bits of clay that are supposed to resemble flower pots and soup bowls. No, we had to buy some more wobbly bits of clay that other people made too! I got a little spoon rest for $1 and a piece that's shaped like a bag that hangs on the wall for $12. I think when I grow up, I'll probably see if I can make my whole house out of clay.

We had one of our World Famous Birthday Barbeque Bash's tonight. (3 birthdays were being celebrated together) As usual, we sang 'Happy Birthday" in as many laguages as we could, which means I think we sang 7 versions tonight. As you can see from the picture, it was a quasi-costume party (meaning costumes were optional). AND I am excited to say that the birthday pinata has been added to the fun. I hope it becomes a regular tradition. It was tremendous fun for us, and provided just as much amusement to the Korean onlookers with whom we shared the BBQ pit. So, after many hours of fun and frolic, I'm going to go to sleep.  

It's 5am. I'm awake.

It's 5:30am. I'm still awake, I'm hungry and I need to pee. I get up and make some coffee, put on a sweater and go sit on my balcony. It rained last night, and the ground is still wet, and the air has been washed clean. It's overcast, so there's no sunrise, but the sky is as light as it's going to get today. I think about going for a bike ride (at this point, the thought does occur to me that I was abducted by aliens in my sleep and it's the implanted microchip that's doing the thinking). It's still a full 3 hours before my usual time to rise & shine. I read a couple of journal articles about differences between German and English rhetorical style....and I'm STILL awake by the end of the 2nd article. A bird lands with a splash in the pond, and from where I'm sitting I can see a black and white cat trotting along with something orange hanging from it's mouth. Then I look at the orange and black and white cat curled up sleeping on my lap. I think about how different the cat's lives are. Catticus is clean and cozy and well fed and plays and sleeps a lot. The black and white cat (I've seen it many times before) lives down the hill in a garbage heap. It's dirty and skittish and also well fed, but judging from what in the garbage pile, I doubt it's nutritious. Then I think about the news lately, and picture the people in Darfour, Bosnia, Bagdhad, Afganistan, and I know I'm missing many more. - and I think about me curled up on my balcony sipping a hot cup of coffee. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get it settled in my head that we all get one life, and while I"m living mine as it is, so many others spend their lives so differently. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, but it's like trying to eat a rubber grape. No matter how much you chew on it, it still looks the same when you spit it out again. (I know this, because we used to have rubber grapes when I was a kid. I chewed on 'em a lot, and they still looked the same when I spit 'em out again. If you've ever bought rubber grapes at a garage sale at our house, you might want to give 'em a wash).

And that's what happens in my head at 5:30am when I'm awake, hungry, and need to pee.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Roses are Red,
My mom's hair's turning Gray,
And I love her more,
Then this lousy poem can say.

I love you Mom! Thank you for loving me, and praying for me, and for letting me eat raw cookie dough, and making me vanilla milkshakes when I had chickenpox, and reminding me to slow down 'cuz I have to pay my own speeding tickets. (I think there might be a metaphor somewhere in there.)

If you're not my mom (and, well, let's face it ~ most of you aren't), but you're sombody else's mom, then Happy Mother's Day to you too.

My friend Mike also has a Blog (see the link on the sidebar). His Blog is titled "Something About Nothing", and each entry begins with "Something About...." and then his topic for the day. I think it's a great idea. Now, everytime I sit down to write an entry, I want to start it with "Something About...." It's catchy.

If I were to follow Mike's example, todays post would be titled "Something About Yellow Puddles". Those of us who were raised in the snowier parts of the world understand the wisdom behind the admonition "Don't eat yellow snow", so I'm familiar with the existence of yellow snow. Until moving to Korea though, I was never familiar with yellow puddles. Now I am. As I've mentioned before, we've been covered in Yellow Dust for weeks now. Even after new clouds of the stuff stopped moving in, we hadn't had any rain yet to wash it away. Cars, streets, tables, desks, bikes, etc. were all covered with a heavy layer of yellow dust. Last night, the rain finally came by the bucketful. (Hooray!) We watched bright yellow rivulets of water flow past our apartments. This morning, puddles rimmed with bright yellow rings were everywhere. But if you step in 'em, you wind up with bright yellowness clinging to your shoes. So, they're pretty, but not much fun to play in.

Hooligan (n.) : a cruel and brutal fellow

Newspapers all over the world have picked up the bickering going on between the American and North Korean presidents. I've skimmed through a number of them, and have noticed that while Australian, Indian and South African papers have included the word "Hooligan" as part of the name-calling. I've noticed though, and I admit I haven't done extensive research, that the American news agencies have left that word out. They carry pretty much the same content as the international papers, but they don't mention that Kim Jung Il called Bush a hooligan. Perhaps we've watered down the meaning of Hooligan in the west, and American journalists didn't think it would carry the same import as the other nasty names the two grown men have been calling each other. I'm sure I didn't know it meant "cruel and brutal" as the dictionary says it does. I thought it was more along the lines of rowdy and ill-mannered. Whatever the reason, it's always a little disheartening to hear kindergarten-style name calling from two world leaders. What's next? They'll break each others crayons and pee in the sandbox? Or, start in on the ever-popular "My nukes are bigger than your nukes" taunt. Whatever it is, it's not looking good for our respective neighbours.

Ben had this posted on his site, (Click on the link for "Ben" on the sidebar if you want to see his answers too). Since I FINALLY finished my essay tonight, and it's not quite bedtime yet, I figured I'd post my answers too.

Three Names You Go By: Janice. JanA** . Jan-iss-suh (Korean pronunciation!)

Three Screen Names You Have: I don't think I have screen names.

Three Things You Like About Yourself: My creativity, my sense of humour and my belly button.

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: My selfishness, my laziness, and the chubbiness around my belly button.

Three Parts of Your Heritage: Scottish, German, Irish

Three Things That Scare You: Drunk Drivers, airplane turbulence and George W Bush.

Three Everyday Essentials: coffee, toothpaste, prayer. (not necessarily in that order. Although coffee after toothpaste is not recommended)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: a red plaid shirt, blue plaid PJ bottoms, and blue Pucca slippers.

Three Favorite Bands/Artists: Simon&Garfunkel, Leonard Cohen, Diana Krall.

Three Favorite Songs At Present: None stand out in particular.

Three Things You Want To Try And Do In The Next Twelve Months: Make it home for Christmas, lose 10 pounds, learn more Korean.

Three Things You Want In A Relationship: Humour, intelligence and a dishwasher. (I'll cook, but it'd be best if someone else washed up after.)

Two Truths And A Lie: I jumped out of an airplane. I threw up in an airplane. I flew an airplane.

Three Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeal To You: collarbone, eyes, shoulders.

Three Things You Just Can't Do: yoga, eat chicken feet, tell a believable lie.

Three Favorite Hobbies: pottery, hiking, reading

Three Things I Want To Do Really Bad Right Now: brush my teeth, see my family, change into matching clothes, now that you've all read I'm wearing two different types of plaid.

Three Careers You Have Considered: Bible Translator, Museum Curator, teacher (oh! doing that one now!)

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation: Thailand, Namibia, Italy

Three Kid's Names You Have Considered: Gregory, Samora, Victoria. (Keep in mind, I haven't thought about kids names since I was about 13, they are subject to change)

Three Things You Want To Do before You Die: I can't think of anything specific. I've done a lot of what I want to do. Everything else is a bonus. Hmm, maybe get married someday. Oh, and eat at that Lebanese restaurant in SoHo again.

There, that's all. Feel free to add your own answers!

No, it's not the Yellow Rose of Texas.

It's the Yellow Dust from China. Every spring, the sands of the Gobi Desert are whipped up into a massive dust cloud that sweeps over parts of Asia. Every spring, the cloud of dust settles on Korean cities for 2-3 days at a time before being blown or rained away. This year, the dust has come more often than any year since 1990. It makes your eyes water and burn, your throat itch and your nose sniffle. You can't really see it, but you feel as though you're covered in grime. The latest cloud arrived on Wednesday, and should blow away by the weekend. It's such a shame, because in every other respect, Korean springs are gorgeous.

Earthquake!?

Yes indeed. I woke up at 6:14 this morning because my bed was shaking. At first, I thought it was because of the cat scratching vigorously. However, when I looked, she was curled up beside me, with her head all perked up and attentive. Then I heard my dishes rattle a bit. Just a small tremor, but I can't remember the last time I felt an earthquake. I stayed awake for a few minutes and decided on the best "duck and cover" location in my apartment in the event of a stronger quake, then went back to sleep.

The tremor I felt was a result of a magnitude 5.7 earthquake in Fukuoka Japan at 6:11 this morning. I've been to Fukuoka before, it's a pleasant little city that also suffered a magnitude 7 earthquake about a month ago, which caused quite a bit of damage and 1 death. The only news article I could find on today's quake was 1 sentence long and didn't include any news of damage or injury.

The Royal Wedding.

I'm a sucker for Royal weddings ~ mostly because I like to watch the clothes. I remember sitting glued to the little TV in my Grandparents camper during a raging thunderstorm many many moons ago the last time Charles got married. Although I had made no specific plans to watch Charles and Camilla finally tie the knot, (or, as the narrator in the movie "Love in the Afternoon" says, they "came before the magistrate, and were stentenced to a life of Holy Matrimony.") However, a few of us were having dinner at a friends house, and coverage of the event started at 7pm (we left at midnight and it was still on). As we watched, I could think of only one word to describe what I was seeing. PLUMAGE. Never have I seen so many feathers stuck, stuffed, perched or spewing forth from, atop so many noggins. I was agog. Our after-dinner conversation was frequently interrupted with exclamations of utter disbelief at some of the creations people had chosen to leave their homes wearing. Big Bird, Sitting Bull, and the sprites from Midsummer Night's Dream would have blended in with ease. Although, to be fair, most of my head gear is knitted out of chunky wool, and has ear flaps. But somehow, that still seems better than feathers. Maybe.

A word from my toes:

Ahhhhh, freedom. After months of being hidden, swaddled and forgotten, we are free again. We knew something was up on Saturday when we were scrubbed and trimmed and painted pretty colours. Then, today, we were freed from our socks and dark shoes and spent the days out in the lovely warmth and sunshine. It's sandal season. Now, instead of being smothered in wool, we can see the sky, the cherry blossoms and sometimes, up Janice's nose. (We're at a bad angle, really). All the way to class today the 10 of us joined in singing gustily the ancient chorus all toes are taught: "This lit tle pee kee wentto mar ket. This lit tle pee kee stayed ho ome." Ahhh. What a lovely feeling. We would tell you more, but it seems like the job of typing is best left to the fingers. It's not our forte.

Happy Arbour Day!

Yes, here in Korea, it's Arbour Day. Which means that we get the day off, and 4 of us happily spent an hour picking out flowers at the local nursery, and another hour playing in the dirt re-potting them. I spent about $22 for a total of 11 plants, including a jasmine plant that's just about to bloom, and is a foot high. I also picked up some daisies, a daffodil, a blue hyacinth, and other pretty little things that I don't know.

It's also an absolutely gorgeous day for a holiday. I've opened all my windows and doors, and now my apartment has that gorgeous, warm, fresh spring smell. Aaahhhhh. The magnolia trees have started to blossom here too, but the grass is still brown, and most of the trees are still bare.

Yesterday was really beautiful too ~ and a good thing! I was locked out of my classroom in the Art building. Instead of trying to hunt down the key in the Administration office (picture the clutter and mess of an artists studio, then try to attach the term 'administration office' to it. Do you think the key would be easy to find??) I marched my class outside. We started class in the amphitheatre, which was perfect until the Korean drummers started to practice. What a day.

(No) Thanks to Leno...

I watched Jay Leno last night, so it was probably an episode that aired a few nights ago in Canada and it's large Southern province. He had this segment on "Googlewhacking". (http://www.broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=2680) Which, as some of you may not know, is the process of typing 2 random words into a Google search engine trying to come up with only a single hit on a related webpage. I gave it a stab this morning, and "diaphanous chamberpot" came back with 142 hits. I got closer with "paleontologist sousaphone" with only 43 hits. My best (before I needed to stop and eat) was "metalinguistics crud" with 8 hits. Which, wouldn't you know, included a Blog entry about Krispy Kreme donuts ~ written by a linguistics student!!! I think I'd have a much better chance of getting a Googlewhack if people didn't blog about weird things. (Yes, I'm aware of the irony).