Adventures in Doors and Open Windows...

I've often been bothered by the simplicity of the adage "When God closes a door, he opens a window." The well intentioned intoners of this missive usually neglect to mention that, continuing the analogy, in a house like mine, finding the window involves working ones way through the living room, kitchen and pantry, down the back stairs, over a pile of miscellaneous boxes, and through a few cobwebs before finding the window. It's not like a door gets closed in your face, and you turn around and think, "Oh, no problem, there's an open window on the other side of the room." Finding the window can be a rather arduous, messy, perilous, dusty adventure.

The real-world scenario that brought this to mind is the door I was heading for (starting my Master's degree next June) has closed (as of Monday, I'm now required to show proficiency in a 2nd language before I'm accepted, not before I graduate) and I'm not sure I'll fit through the doggy-door (I might be able to scrape together enough French before the program starts). Gracious, this analogy is getting tedious.

I'm not worried; just curious.

Adventures in Odd Couples...

Years ago, when I was in high school, one of my friends told my about a little road-side sign in Southern Ontario advertising "Taxidermy & Cheese". It made me chuckle then, it makes me chuckle now. What an odd combination. This afternoon, my Mom forwarded me an e-mail involving taxidermy. It's been over a decade now that my neurons automatically attach 'and cheese' to any 'taxidermy' that finds itself in my head. What does your average person do whilst thinking about taxidermy and cheese, and has Google at their fingertips? I don't know about most people, but this person decided to see if her friend had been telling her a falsehood, and if not, to see if she could find photographic evidence of the sign. He didn't tell a falsehood, and I did find photographic evidence...but that's not all. I also discovered that as odd as the pairing is - it's not the only one!! Yes, that's right. There are more than one taxidermy & cheese combo shops in North America!!!!

Now, when I get a pedicure kit taped to my cream cheese, or a roll of paper towel taped to my tuna in the grocery store here, or find corn and potato wedges on my pizza, I have to remind myself that Korea doesn't have the monopoly on bizarre combinations.

Adventures in Ambiliances

When I was a kid, apparently I loved a show called "Emergency!". In the interests of proper blogging research, I've just watched the opening theme on YouTube, and must admit none of it looks familiar. Nonetheless, my Mom assures me that I loved it (when I was 3). I also had trouble saying the word Ambulance and it came out more like Ambiliance. I doubt I'm the only person to have had trouble with that pesky term.

I was thinking these things today as I was actually speeding through the streets of Daegu in an ambulance today. It wasn't an emergency; the orthopaedic clinic I've been going to doesn't have it's own MRI machine, so they sent me by ambulance to the nearest radiology clinic. We were speeding because ... well, because we're in Korea. The experience was (thankfully) nothing like TV. There were no IV lines, wires, syringes, oxygen masks or people shouting "We need 4ccs of Haloperidol - STAT!" There was just a bright orange stretcher, a lingering stale cigarette odor, and the driver and I singing along to ABBA videos on the dashboard TV monitor. Yes, you read that correctly. I spent my first ambulance ride singing Karaoke to Dancing Queen. Hopefully, my loved ones and I will all remain healthy enough for this to be my one and only ambulance memory. Bizarre as it is.

As for my test results, my MCL injury has healed well; however, my MCL treatment weakened my quad muscle. This teamed up with a tilted pelvis which is causing hypertension in my thigh muscle, which is pulling my kneecap out of place, which is causing chondromalacia, which is causing pain. It'll take 3-4 months of physio to be up to snuff again, but I was thrilled that the doctor has now taken the word 'surgery' out of his assessment.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life....