Remembrance Day 2009

Since it's Remembrance Day, I thought I'd share a picture with you that always makes me cry a little, if I really let myself think about it.

Canadians departing for active service in Europe during the Second World War, 1940. (National Archives of Canada C-38723)

Adventures in Cat Postage...

I took this video to share with my niece and nephew, since it's their parcel the cat has climbed into, but the file was too big to e-mail. As a result, all my remaining blog readers get to see it too. I do apologize for my very annoying high-pitched kitty voice.

Adventures in Doors and Open Windows...

I've often been bothered by the simplicity of the adage "When God closes a door, he opens a window." The well intentioned intoners of this missive usually neglect to mention that, continuing the analogy, in a house like mine, finding the window involves working ones way through the living room, kitchen and pantry, down the back stairs, over a pile of miscellaneous boxes, and through a few cobwebs before finding the window. It's not like a door gets closed in your face, and you turn around and think, "Oh, no problem, there's an open window on the other side of the room." Finding the window can be a rather arduous, messy, perilous, dusty adventure.

The real-world scenario that brought this to mind is the door I was heading for (starting my Master's degree next June) has closed (as of Monday, I'm now required to show proficiency in a 2nd language before I'm accepted, not before I graduate) and I'm not sure I'll fit through the doggy-door (I might be able to scrape together enough French before the program starts). Gracious, this analogy is getting tedious.

I'm not worried; just curious.

Adventures in Odd Couples...

Years ago, when I was in high school, one of my friends told my about a little road-side sign in Southern Ontario advertising "Taxidermy & Cheese". It made me chuckle then, it makes me chuckle now. What an odd combination. This afternoon, my Mom forwarded me an e-mail involving taxidermy. It's been over a decade now that my neurons automatically attach 'and cheese' to any 'taxidermy' that finds itself in my head. What does your average person do whilst thinking about taxidermy and cheese, and has Google at their fingertips? I don't know about most people, but this person decided to see if her friend had been telling her a falsehood, and if not, to see if she could find photographic evidence of the sign. He didn't tell a falsehood, and I did find photographic evidence...but that's not all. I also discovered that as odd as the pairing is - it's not the only one!! Yes, that's right. There are more than one taxidermy & cheese combo shops in North America!!!!

Now, when I get a pedicure kit taped to my cream cheese, or a roll of paper towel taped to my tuna in the grocery store here, or find corn and potato wedges on my pizza, I have to remind myself that Korea doesn't have the monopoly on bizarre combinations.

Adventures in Ambiliances

When I was a kid, apparently I loved a show called "Emergency!". In the interests of proper blogging research, I've just watched the opening theme on YouTube, and must admit none of it looks familiar. Nonetheless, my Mom assures me that I loved it (when I was 3). I also had trouble saying the word Ambulance and it came out more like Ambiliance. I doubt I'm the only person to have had trouble with that pesky term.

I was thinking these things today as I was actually speeding through the streets of Daegu in an ambulance today. It wasn't an emergency; the orthopaedic clinic I've been going to doesn't have it's own MRI machine, so they sent me by ambulance to the nearest radiology clinic. We were speeding because ... well, because we're in Korea. The experience was (thankfully) nothing like TV. There were no IV lines, wires, syringes, oxygen masks or people shouting "We need 4ccs of Haloperidol - STAT!" There was just a bright orange stretcher, a lingering stale cigarette odor, and the driver and I singing along to ABBA videos on the dashboard TV monitor. Yes, you read that correctly. I spent my first ambulance ride singing Karaoke to Dancing Queen. Hopefully, my loved ones and I will all remain healthy enough for this to be my one and only ambulance memory. Bizarre as it is.

As for my test results, my MCL injury has healed well; however, my MCL treatment weakened my quad muscle. This teamed up with a tilted pelvis which is causing hypertension in my thigh muscle, which is pulling my kneecap out of place, which is causing chondromalacia, which is causing pain. It'll take 3-4 months of physio to be up to snuff again, but I was thrilled that the doctor has now taken the word 'surgery' out of his assessment.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life....

Adventures in Popping in to Visit Long Lost Blogs...

Crreeeeeaaaakkkk. (Rusty door hinges objecting to being called into service.)

Thumpa Thumpa Thumpa. (Summer-lovin' flip flops wading through inches of dust.)

Hello?? Anybody home? (Me, calling out in a wee whisper.)


Silence.


jsadoifneroifj pikj osossdooooo (cat, walking across the keyboard.)


Stupid, interrupting, soft, furry cutesy snookums of an annoying cat. (Me, unwilling to commit to an opinion about Catticus.)

Silence.


Hmmmm. I wonder where they went? Where did my colony of tiny typing gnomes go? Apparently, as of September 29th, 2008 they were still here making people think that I was writing this drivel on my own. I admit I haven't checked in on them for a while, but since they're not too keen on human company, and are a self-sufficient lot, I figured they were still writing away. I admit they weren't the most industrious of typing gnome colonies. My friend Melanie has some top-notch gnomes who seem to post with stunning regularity. Mine spent most of their time sleeping on dust bunnies under my desk or trying to sneak servings of kimchi out of my fridge. Nothing puts you off your lunch faster than a half-frozen typing gnome passed out in your kimchi. Especially if he still has dust bunny residue all over his beard. Gross. Nonetheless, they did ocassionally manage to produce some sort of quasi-coherent paragraphs once in a while.

Hmmm. I wonder where they went. Well dear reader(s), until I manage to find another colony willing to work for ample quantities of dust and fermented cabbage, you'll either be stuck with my own ramblings or lengthy spells of nothin' at all.

Adventures in Punctuational Pet Peeves... (Part II)

After enjoying a lovely weekend, and breathing in the brisk September air, some of my tiradical tendencies have been whisked away like an autumn leaf. Nonetheless, I'm still going to wrap up my piece on the misuse of quotation marks. I'm sure both of my readers are thrilled.

For some unfortunate reason, a remarkably large segment of the population seems to think that quotation marks aren't just for indicating reported speech or sarcasm anymore. Somewhere along the line, this unassuming, straightforward and highly functional piece of punctuation has been stripped of it's crown of coherency and assigned to take over the roles of underlining, italicizing and large print to indicate emphasis. In a fit of indignation, I did a quick Google search looking for examples of misused quotation marks.

My search took me to the website www.quotation-marks.blogspot.com which, as Jennifer pointed out in her comments on my last post, is a fantastic site dedicated to the indignities the poor quotation marks have suffered over the years and across the globe. Diving into that site, I found my way to Jocelyn Noveck's article in the Washington Post on September 21, 2007. In that article, I discovered a fabulous quote that sums up my sentiments quite succinctly:

"I have a thing against overuse of quotations, period," says [Pat] Hoy,
director of the expository writing program at New York University. "Whether
in academic or bureaucratic writing, it's giving up responsibility for what
you're writing. It's a pushing aside of the responsibility to be the major
thinker in the piece."

Bravo, Pat Hoy, Bravo!! Take note BBC correspondents! I implore you to step up and take responsibility for your writing! Throw down your useless, deceptive, misleading, annoying, random inverted commas. Cast off the chains of wishy-washy, pudding-brained, over-punctuated, wimposity!! (I can still make up my own words, since I'm not being paid to be a leader in maintaining high standards in the written word.)

Whew, have you ever noticed that when you're on a roll, it's easier to write with an impassioned indignation that you don't really feel? In my head, when I see misused quotation marks, I think "Humph, that's irritating", but when I start writing, I suddenly find a dusty old soapbox to stand on, metaphorically shaking my fist at the sky.

Adventures in punctuational pet peeves... (Part I)
~Oh yes, hold on to your seat, this is going to be a 2 Part rant on punctuation. The fun never ends!!~

For quite some time now, I have cringed every time I've scanned the BBC headlines. Yes, much of the news is certainly cringe-worthy, but that's not what's been setting my teeth on edge. The overabundance of 'quotation marks' offsetting 'information' in the headlines is driving me bonkers. When not actually used for reporting the direct speech of a someone else, quotation marks have traditionally indicated sarcasm or fallacy, or innuendo. Take the following sentence as an example: Susan 'cooked' a really 'good' dinner last night. Reading this, I would expect that Susan didn't cook a thing. The dinner was actually take-out, and it was disgusting.

Brief tirade on the role of punctuation here, including a hastily conceived simile ...skip it if you're bored already....

I admit that despite my desire to see myself as progressive, and accepting of the fact that language changes and evolves, I drag my feet at changes to punctuation use. Punctuation is, and always has been, a way to keep sentences in order. Each little jot, tittle and squiggle performs a specific function (or funtions) to make things clear and comprehensible for the reader. To paraphrase Lynne Truss, author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, if a sentence is a busy city street, punctuation is the traffic signs. Just as city planners don't go bananas and decide that perhaps a green light could also function as a yield sign, or a red light could serve double-duty as a U-turn signal, neither should punctuation marks be arbitrarily assigned new duties.

Now, back to my point...

What was it? Ah, yes, the BBC. Keeping in mind that quotation marks serve to indicate that the statement isn't really true, take a look at the following headlines from today:

- US Congress 'agrees bail-out deal' (and by 'agrees on a bail-out deal' we really mean it was a disagreement over a Happy Meal.)
- Records 'hurt' women's athletics (Hee hee, just joking. They've really helped quite a bit.)
- Finnish massacres 'may be linked' (Or, we could just be making it up, and there's no connection whatsoever.)
- Bush still 'hopeful' on Mid-East (and by 'hopeful' we really mean he's curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth waiting for his term to finish as soon as humanly possible.)
- Modi 'cleared' over Gujarat riots (and by 'cleared' we mean he'll probably be spending 5 years in prison.)

Do you see how tossing quotation marks about willy-nilly can cause some major traffic jams on the highway of communication!? Some may argue that the quotation marks in the headlines are there because those words were actaully said by someone quoted in the article. No doubt! I have often said 'hopeful', 'cleared' and 'hurt'. A quotation mark around a single word is utterly useless as an indication of reported speech, and all it does is make me disbelieve the headline.

Adventures in an unexpected blink...

Yesterday was Chuseok - generally referred to as the Korean Thanksgiving. Traffic is usually utter mayhem the day before and the day after, as the entire country makes their way back to parents' or grandparents' homes. To be truthful, traffic in Korea usually has a twinge of mayhem in it anyway. Drivers are skillful, but often impatient and ... well... rude, by Canadian driving standards. Imagine my surprise while I was driving to church yesterday to recieve a 'courtesy blink' from another driver! A car came barelling up on my rear bumper at an alarming speed, so I squeezed myself in between two busses in the next lane to let him pass. Once he was passed, I pulled back out into my original lane. Imediately, the speedy car gave me a 2-flash 4-way flasher blink! It was a courtesy blink - the likes of which I've never seen in Korea before!!! I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Adventures in Little House on the Prairie...


I'm now back in Korea after a lovely vacation, and should be back to my semi-regular musings soon. I thought I should take a moment though and wish Little House on the Prairie a happy 34th birthday! That's right - on September 11th, 1974, viewers were introduced to the TV versions of Ma, Pa, Laura and Mary Ingalls...and endured (ahem...loved) the sappy, drippy, wholesome storylines for many years.

Adventures in T-shirts

Twice a semester, I'm expected to proctor student examinations. That means that I spend 4-5 hours on a Saturday strolling around an auditorium while my students write the midterms and finals. It's a long, boring day. To amuse myself, I read what's written on my students' T-shirts. Here's a sampling of what I read last Saturday:

- I love school
- I'm a tosser
- Delicious Litmus
- Thank you for getting naked
- Happy?
- I see dead people
- A cup of my mind colors
- Mockingbird wish me luck
- The sound of a kiss is not as loud as that of a cannon but it's echo lasts a great deal longer

I would love to know who makes these shirts, and whether or not the students know what they mean...half the time, I sure don't (or wish I didn't!)

Adventures in Ssireum


Yesterday was the 33rd Gyeongsan JaIn Festival. As part of the festival, foreign women were invited to compete in a Ssireum wrestling tournament. Having never voluntarily competed in an athletic event, I don't know why I decided to sign up, but I did. I was expecting to eat sand in the first round and enjoy the rest of the festival from the benches. We had 1 hour of training/practice on Wednesday, then hopped on the bus on Saturday to go to the tournament.

In Ssireum, each match is determined by the winner of 2 out of 3 rounds. In order to win, you must throw your opponent to the ground, without your knees or hips touching the sand first. All this is done in ankle deep sand, and clutching your partner's satba or belt.

Somehow, I managed to win 2 of the 3 rounds in my first match. Apparently, I did the same in my 2nd match (time spent in the ring became increasingly blurry as I started getting tired and sore) and advanced to the semi-finals, where I was finally knocked out of the competition. I must say though, I'm glad I was beaten when I was. If I had won, the girl I'd have had to fight in the final was a bulldozer disguised as a woman.

Today, I'm sore and bruised (in places I hope to never be bruised again!!) but can admit I had a pretty good day - athletic event and all.

Adventures in Purple Party Poopers...

When my sister and I were young, we used to watch Battle of the Planets: a Japanese animated series. In one episode, I remember one of the characters calling Zoltar, the villain, a "Purple Party Pooper". Being 6 years old, I thought it was absolutely hilarious. Maybe it was because I heard someone say "poop" on TV. Still, to this day, I remember that line. (To think that that brain space could have been used to remember things like birthdays or multiplication tables.)

Even though it's painted in blue, white and red, today's "Purple Party Pooper of the Week" award goes to Montreal Mayor Gérald Tremblay. The mayor has chastised Montreal firefighters for painting their fire stations blue, white and red in support of the Canadiens as they head into the playoffs. The mayor seems to have confused team spirit, morale boosting, patriotic enthusiasm and artistic expression with vandalism and defacing public property. Now, I'm sure that according to the letter of the law, he's right. According to the same letter of the same law, he could also probably start hauling little kids in to the precinct for drawing hop-scotch boards on the sidewalks with chalk. The firemen used temporary water-based paint to show support for their home-town team playing Canada's favourite sport. Get a grip, Mr.Mayor!!

I'm not even a hockey fan, but I do recognize a giant Party Pooper when I see one!

Adventures in Fine Dining...

While taking some time to poke around the internet this afternoon, I came across an article detailing the newest trends in tableware. What possessed me to actually click on the link, I'll never know. Against my better judgment, I did find myself skimming the article, and soon discovered the six hottest things in tableware since the invention of the fork. These trends are condensed below:

- Asian influences
- Wildlife motifs
- Neutral shades
- Designer patterns
- Victorian charm

The list itself wasn't very interesting. What got me thinking was, "What's NOT on that list?" In my opinion, those 6 categories cover every plate, saucer and gravy boat in every cupboard, cottage and cabinet. It seems to me that the article could more accurately have been titled "Put anything you want on your table. It's all good." Actually, there is one category that's not on the list. The author of the article failed to mention "Ugly Things Janice Made in Pottery Class." And so, in utter rebellion, I'm going to go make a sandwich, and put it on the ugliest pottery mishap I can find. The sandwich will still taste just as good, and my unfashionable table will never know the difference.

Adventures in Astronauts...

I was watching TV last night, 60 MInutes to be exact, and the topic of space exploration and missions to Mars and new Lunar Landings were discussed. Two things surprised me. First, no-one has set foot on the moon in my lifetime. The last manned mission to the moon was back in '72. I think I has just assumed that when the astronauts were tinkering with space stations, they'd make a little stop on the moon, while they were in the neighbourhood. I don't know where I got that idea from. However, what really surprised me, (and it shouldn't have - it seems so obvious), is that there is more computer technology in my cellphone then there was on any of the Apollo missions to the Moon. I use my phone to do everything from look up words in the Korean-English dictionary, to checking the subway map to see how long it takes to get from one station to another, to taking pictures of things that amuse me. (You'll notice I rarely use it as a phone.) It was like a little lightening bolt in my brain when I realized that I had grown up considering space exploration to be the epitome of technological marvels...and that somewhere in the past 30 years, technology far surpassed the days of Apollo missions. How did Buzz and Neil manage a whole moon-walking mission without a little MP3 player and a pocket-sized access to Google?

Adventures in Fools of April...

While I don't usually do much for April Fool's Day myself, I read this morning of possibly one of the most successful and well executed pranks of all time. I'm just glad I'm not the guy that got pranked.

You can read the article here: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=955#more-955

Adventures in Mirth...

What a day this is turning out to be. I woke up chuckling from an odd dream I had, and soon sat down with coffee and toast in hand to peruse my morning websites. I spent a few minutes on Damn Interesting which my friend Jen introduced me to. I came across an article entitled "Humoring the Gelotologists" by Alan Bellows. I spent the next 10 minutes reading all about theories of why we laugh, and the healthy benefits of laughter. By the end of the article, I was sure I had laughed enough to add a few days to my life expectancy. I wasn't finished yet. At the bottom of the article were links to various funny sites. That's when I found it. It was a little creepy, a whole lot bizarre, and frighteningly contagious. Since laughter is so good for you, and I want all my readers to be happy and healthy, I'm sharing this for your own good. Be sure to turn your speakers on, and enjoy.

Adventures in Listening to My Conscience...

Early this morning, I rolled over and squinted at the sun in my eyes.

"C'mon, get up! If you say you're going to get up, you have to get up. You can't just decide not to, like a rabbit with chickenpox!" my conscience demanded.

I squinted at my conscience. "What??!!?"

I had promised no one, not even myself, that I would get up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday. I didn't like the tone my conscience was taking with me, and I realized that my conscience is not at it's best early in the morning. My slowly waking brain toyed with the possibilities..."Hmmm, so if someone wanted to convince me to rob a bank, they might have a better chance at 7am, since my conscience is still groggy and inarticulate..."

My conscience, embarrassed at the stupidity of the 'rabbit with chickenpox' bit, replied petulantly, "Well then, it's a good thing banks aren't open at 7am, isn't it. Humph! Now get up!"

I rolled over and went back to sleep for a little while.

Adventures in Cambodia
Part IV: The Government Comes to Call

A few days after we got back from Cambodia, there was a knock on my door around 7 pm. It was the security guy from downstairs, announcing that a representative of the Health Department would be coming by to see me. "When?" I asked.

"Today" he replied. I looked at my watch. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. He added, "In about 1 hour, I think." About 10 minutes later, he returned to say that the official would come the next morning instead.

When we were on the plane, shortly before landing in Seoul, we had been asked to fill out custom's declaration and health cards. Since I didn't want to risk a hefty fine, or 5 years in prison, (as the card said I would if I lied), I dutifully checked the boxes that said I had had vomiting and diarrhea in the past 10 days. Annelie also checked one of the boxes because she has also had traveler's diarrhea. [This is more than you wanted to know about our trip, isn't it?] When we got the the airport, the heath official asked me about it and I told him it was just food poisoning, and we went on our merry way.

That's how, 3 days later, I found myself in my bathroom with a sterile swab in my hand, being asked to prove to the waiting government official that I didn't have cholera. How embarrassing.

Adventures in Cambodia
Part III: Phnom Penh

After a bit of a rough start in Phnom Penh, things quickly improved after a good night's sleep and a packet of re-hydration salts. I wasn't confident enough the next morning to join the pre-TESOL conference education tour though, and sent Jen in my stead. Tracy had returned to Korea the night before, so I slept most of the morning. By the time Jen and Annelie returned from the tour, I was feeling healthy and hungry.

On Saturday, while Jen was attending the first day of the conference, Annelie and I went to check out the Central Market. Built in the mid 1930's, it's a big yellow art-deco building housing an abundance of clothes, flowers, silver, electronics, etc. It was also HOT inside, so we didn't stay long. Instead, we spent the afternoon reading by the pool until Jen got back and the three of us went in search of yet another gem of a restaurant.

On Sunday, all three of us headed to the National Institute of Education for the last day of the CamTESOL conference. I hadn't realized that Sunday was only a 1/2 day, so I only had a chance to attend two sessions. The first one wasn't helpful for me at all, which is unfortunate, since "Cartoons in the Classroom" had seemed promising. However, the presentation contained mostly things I'd already tried and hadn't had much success with. I had been hoping for some new suggestions. The next session was much better though, and gave some good, solid, practical tips for teaching conversation in a large class. Some of the suggestions were techniques I already use, but there were also some ideas I'm going to try this semester.

After the conference, we discovered a nearby Indian restaurant that served quite possibly the 2nd best Indian meal I can remember. (The best was in Singapore). I was SO happy to be on vacation in a tropical country and have a healthy enough stomach that I could even enjoy some Paneer Korma and Aloo Pulao.

With the conference behind us, the next day was spent on the "must see" of all tourists to the capital. Often, as we were riding our bikes through the countryside, I couldn't help but imagine the country at war 30 years ago. Even so, books I've read and movies I've watched didn't prepare me for our tour of the Killing Fields and the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. When we arrived, we were taken through the area by a guide, but then, difficult as it was, we chose to go through again quietly on our own. [I've been sitting here staring at my screen now for a few minutes, unsure of how to continue.] The atrocities of the PolPot regime have always sickened me, but until that moment, it had always been somewhat remote. Now, I could picture the faces of people I'd met in Cambodia, and the horror of those years suddenly became much more real. It was a rough day, to say the least.

The next two days were basically spent finishing up our trip. We went the the National Museum, which, like most Asian museums I've been to, was more a cause of frustration than pleasure for me. You all know I adore museums; I can gaze at the artifacts and envision their parts in history before they were encased in glass. I can imagine what they were like before, and how they were a part of someone's life. I have trouble doing that in Asian museums. In part, the objects are really foreign to me, and I have trouble putting them in context. This hurdle could be overcome with adequate signs and descriptions. However, museums in this part of the world seem to think that "This xxx is 12cm long and weighs 28grams. It was made during the reign of King xxx." Fill in the xxx's with a word you don't know, and the name of a King you've never heard of. That's about as helpful as it gets. By the time we left the museum and went to the Royal Palace, I was making up my own stories about what things were. I'm sure that the Ho Preah Khan or Samritvimean ( an ornate building on the palace grounds) has a noble purpose, but it will forever be etched in my mind as the "Building to store the royal lime-paste pot collection", because that's what happens when you leave me to my own devices. If I could go back in time and re-do my conversation with my high school guidance counsellor, I think I'd tell him I want to be a Curator-at-Large for Asian museums.

Oopsy-daisy. I seem to have taken a left turn at the corner of Irrelevant Lane and Rambling Road and wound up in the middle of Digression Gorge. My apologies.

Hm, it seems like I'm almost done anyway. We spent a bit more time at the markets, and the grocery store (I love visiting grocery stores in foreign countries!) and beside the pool. Before we knew it, we were zipping up our suitcases, Annelie and I were bidding adieu to Jen and boarding a plane bound for Korea.

Do not despair, dear readers. The adventure isn't quite over yet. There's a post-script yet to come. Stay tuned for Part IV: A Government Official Comes to Call.